Cover Letter

It’s an opportunity… too bad nobody will take it.

I’m talking about the writers’ strike. TV shows (including some I watch) are grinding to a halt and preparing to end their seasons early because the writers are walking out.

I’m not sure what the writers are upset about; I hear it has something to do with the internet and, frankly, I don’t care. I’m just wondering if anybody in Hollywood will actually have the balls to take this golden opportunity that the strike has handed them.

Golden opportunity? Yes, that’s right. Pure gold. Platinum, even.

The current crop of writers sucks. Everyone EXCEPT the producers and people putting money on the line… the people who have the most to lose… knows this. Instead of filling the void with reality-TV and other bullshit, they need to fill with with BETTER WRITERS!

Specifically, writers that were NOT raised and inculcated in the Hollywood culture…. that did NOT all (every single fucking one of them) go to the same scriptwriting schools and attend the same seminars… that did not all read the SAME goddamn books about how to write a script that sells… that are not all clones of the same ancient screenwriters with the same ancient ideas.

I say, fire ALL of them and go out looking for new stories to tell. Go out and find AUTHORS… no, not scriptwriters who learned their “craft” from a book or a college class… I mean fucking “born with talent” novelists, storytellers, people with ideas. People who understand (even if YOU don’t) that a “script” is just a format that you can put a story into, and that knowing how to “write a script” is NOT the same thing as being able to tell a goddamn story that people want to see. You had a few of these people working for you… but you need more. A LOT more.

Do you even realize how CHEAP you can get some of these people to come up with ideas for you? Teach them how to write those ideas in the form of a script, and you’ve got a gold mine.

Then contract with them to produce new, better content. And then be sure not to do whatever it was you did to the last bunch that pissed them off so bad.

Of course, nobody will do that. That would cost too much money. And its a big risk… all this talk of “new” and “different”. No, they’d much rather have the old bunch back so they can keep recycling the same ideas from now until television completes is slide into total irrelevance. But on the odd chance that somebody in the TV industry does wake the fuck up and realize just WHY the internet and video games are eating your lunch these days…

Consider this post to be my cover letter.

Attached is my resume.

Darkicon at bookofdarkplaces dot com.

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