Review: Buried Alive (2007)

Two cousins and some assorted college friends go to a remote family home for a sorority initiation… oh, and to search for gold. Sounds like a good time for the ghost of an old ancestor (who’d been buried alive on the property, dur…) to go on an axe-murdering spree.

Right.

The movie pretty much IS as bad as it sounds.

There are NO interesting characters and NOTHING remarkable about the plot OR the effects. The “ghost” is somebody running around in a Halloween mask. Who did these movie-makers have to blow to get this garbage made into a film? I mean… really. This is what they think horror fans like? A heaping pile of suck with two half-decent kills and a light sprinkling of T&A on top? They would have been better off turning this into a comedy… not that the movie was funny, but the sure as hell can’t get horror right so maybe the opposite might work.

Okay, I’ll play nice. What was actually GOOD about this waste of an hour and a half of my life:

+5: The geek “sitting in the car” gag never got old. I snickered every time I saw it.
+5: People actually fight BACK against the ghost. Stabbed, hit with an axe, and run over by a car. Twice.
+2: T&A. These girls ain’t shy. Stupid, but not shy.

But then:

-10: The entire middle portion of the movie (after the first person dies) is boring as hell.
-5: A back-story that was actually more interesting than the story on the SCREEN. That’s not a compliment.
-5: Halloween mask != ghost.
-2: The female cousin was incredibly annoying. I kept wanting her to catch an axe with her face. But she never did.

Bottom line: Skip this one.

Note to the movie creators: Honestly, you would have been better off making a movie about what happened to the original ancestors. If you really really wanted to go with the college-kid T&A angle, then you could have replaced the ENTIRE middle portion of this film with an extended flashback showing what happened all those years ago, because that was more interesting than what you DID show.


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