Contractors Wanted

Quick question:

Is there anyone available in the Atlanta area to come and shoot my neighbor’s dog?

Not the one next door… those dogs are cool. I mean the one across the street. Directly across the street. From my window. The one that’s been barking non-stop for at least 36 hours now. He’s easy to find because he’s the dog that’s directly across from my window and he’s STILL BARKING RIGHT-THE FUCK- NOW!!! Yeah… that one.

Did I mention he’s directly across from my window?

Look… I know animal cruelty isn’t cool and everything, but it’s kind of difficult to write or read or play video games or even randomly surf the internet when there’s this constant ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO!

RAH!

ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!ROO!
ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! FUCKING ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO! ROO!
right across from my window! If that shit doesn’t stop REALLY FUCKING SOON I’m gonna tie that mutt to the back of my car and drive to fucking NEBRASKA and back at 130 miles an hour! When I get back there won’t even be a fucking CAR left, FUCK THE DOG!

…Or, someone could just come by and shoot him in the face for me.

Thanks.


3 Comments

  1. Kragon, December 23, 2007:

    Shit, I’ll tell you what man. You come and shoot my neighbor’s dog and I’ll come and shoot yours and we’ll call it even. The thing is though I live up in Michigan.

    Maybe I’ll get lucky and the shitty weather were having up here will kill the damn mutt!!!

  2. Loki, December 23, 2007:

    Apparently we all have the same problem.

    I’ll pay though…:D

  3. nate, December 24, 2007:

    I’ve come to the conclusion that the Bible story about Noah was actually a punishment from God. I can’t imagine anything worse than being locked up with a bunch of filthy animals for a year or so.

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