Actual Conversation, part three

This one involves the same female co-worker as before, and another male coworker.

At some point in the past, I must have told her that I wrote stories. I don’t remember telling her, but she brought it up on her own so either I told her or she’s some kind of stalker. Anyway, the three of us are eating dinner, and she asks me if I still write stories. Normally, all kinds of red flags go off when people at work ask me about my writing… but I was tired and in a sarcastic mood, so I didn’t immediately change the subject like I usually do. Good thing, because it lead to this gem:

Female CoWorker: “So what kind of stories do you write?”
Dark Icon: “Fantasy mostly. SciFi. That kinda stuff.”
Female CoWorker: “That’s what I thought. I like fantasy. I used to have this idea for a fantasy story. It’s about a princess and she runs away.”
Dark Icon: “Yeahhhh…. You probably wouldn’t like my stories. People die. Horribly.”
Female CoWorker: “Oh, well in my story the princess gets betrayed by her best friend.”
Dark Icon: “In one of my stories this guy pisses off these criminals so they kidnap his wife and burn her to death right in front of him. So he goes crazy and kills the entire town.”
Female Coworker: “…oh.”
Male Coworker: “He wins.”

I know I shouldn’t go around frightening coworkers, but dammit she walked into that one. I mean… honestly. A princess!?

…so now I have to go and write a story about a princess.


  1. Kragon, June 16, 2008:

    LMAO. That is wonderful. You probably gave her a complex now.

    But all things considered you could of told her something more horrifying then part of a December plot. But still, it’s a jem nonetheless.

    I can’t wait for a Dark Icon princess story. Maybe it’ll be something that I could read to my daughter at night, Ha!

  2. DarkIcon, June 16, 2008:

    Somehow, I don’t think they were ready for the whimsical adventures of Filkus and His Amazing Puppets.

  3. nate, June 16, 2008:

    CSI Montfort would have been a better one IMO.

    You want to read a DI princess story to your daughter? Why don’t you start with his Christmas story?

  4. Kragon, June 16, 2008:

    Santa’s Sleigh? Yeah, she’d love that! lol

    Actually my daughter loves to read, for which I am very thankful. She is just turned nine a few months back and she already asked if she could read one of my Stephen King books.

    I gave her The Green Mile to start her out, nothing too heavy. She reads some on her own, and I read a little more to her at night. She’s liking it so that’s good. I’ll get her into DI”s stuff one day. That way he can begin to corrupt a whole new generation. lol

  5. raykendo, June 26, 2008:

    I can see THAT princess story. The prince would probably get murdered by bandits, so she has a witch turn her into something with claws and tentacles to take revenge on the entire bandit camp.

  6. coops200ad, July 4, 2008:

    You’re a freaking classic. I almost spit beer all over the monitor.

  7. danny, November 25, 2010:

    I came back to this one to explain to my older children what kind of stories you write.

    My daughter pointed out that she’s written a story.

    About a princess that runs away.

    She goes a bit crazy at one point and “glasses” entire cities (powdered glass dumped over the town).

    People die … horribly.

    But this post is still one of my all time favorites.

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