Do Not Read

This is the output of a text-generation program that scans text and generates new text based on a statistical analysis of what it scanned. I fed it a few HP Lovecraft stories AND a few of my own. Somewhere in the middle of the output, it spat out this:

"Remember me, motherfucker? Lemme remind you... this is what you did to my room. Physicians had told me of the great illness of eighteen years before, and our electric torches and batteries, food and later for other purposes, that they were all tranquilizers or poisons. Perhaps that was it. All he could find. Could he have gotten to October Falls, but all to go. Every "I'm so sorry," and "What a shame- why'd it have to be concerned. Randal had no intention of getting into a high continental plateau, was some twelve thousand feet in elevation, with grotesque stone buildings began to move forward like a sack of rotten meat. His limbs still jerked involuntarily for several seconds.

Darion towered over the dead murderer, and uttered one word: "Live."

Rikky jerked awake, as if giant bat-winged gryphons looked on transcosmic gulfs.

I’m not exactly sure what to think. Yeah, it’s pure gibberish; but there are identifiable pieces of Lovecraft and my own writing in there. With a little tweaking, this could be… interesting. Very interesting.

Besides, this is probably the closest you’ll ever come to a Lovecraft story with the word “motherfucker” in it. That in ITSELF is bad-ass.

———————-
EDIT:
Now THIS is a much better example. It weaves two of my stories together with some standard Loveraftian shenanigans, all created at random. Plus, it’s actually readable:

—paste—
we covered the miles of primeval forest and hill until the wooded ascent checked it. The country bore an aspect more than usually sinister as we viewed it by night and without the accustomed crowds of investigators, so that we would have spied their dreaded summits in the dim western distance had it not been for the heart attack that suddenly seized me one forenoon as I sat writing in my room. Physicians had told me of the strange and disturbing Asian paintings of Nicholas Roerich; and when we thought of such things as the ungainly Palmyrene sculptures fashioned in the Roman manner. That others had recently noticed this belt of carving was hinted by the presence of a living water bird in such a direction – in a world whose surface was one of anticlimax. For amidst the littered expanse of that sculptured Crypt – a perfect cube with sides of about twenty feet – there remained no recent object of instantly discernible size; so that we would have spied their dreaded summits in the dim western distance had it not been for the heart attack that suddenly seized me one forenoon as I sat writing in my room. Physicians had told me of the strange and disturbing Asian paintings of Nicholas Roerich; and when we thought of the frightful stone city of R’lyeh and all the construction and carving were marvelously well-preserved. The floor was quite clear, except for a slight detritus bearing outgoing penguin tracks and the inward tracks of these others. The farther one advanced, the warmer it became; so that we would have to be wholly revised, for this thing was no product of any cell growth science knows about. There had been a remarkable and unique degree of continuity between the life of over three hundred million years ago and that of only thirty million years ago. How far this continuity had extended beyond the Oligocene Age when the cavern was closed was of course past all speculation. In any event, the coming of the frightful stone city of R’lyeh and all the construction and carving were marvelously well-preserved. The floor was quite clear, except for a slight detritus bearing outgoing penguin tracks and the inward tracks of these others. The farther one advanced, the warmer it became; so that we would have to try the next nearest one – the one with the dashboard, but by the time of the tunneling, and had indeed noticed the inferior workmanship of the arabesques in the stretches behind us. But now, in this deeper section beyond the cavern, there was a huge, roofless rampart still complete in its gigantic five-pointed outline and rising to an irregular height of ten or eleven feet. For this latter we headed; and when at last we remembered that the demoniac Shoggoths – given life, thought, and plastic organ patterns solely by the Old Ones, and had modeled their tough plasticity into various useful temporary limbs and organs; but now their self-modeling powers were sometimes exercised independently, and in various imitative forms implanted by past suggestion. They had, it seems, developed a semistable brain whose separate and occasionally stubborn volition echoed the will of the Old Ones shifted north ahead of the creeping ice cap? Existing geology shows no trace of their presence. Had the frightful Mi-Go been still a menace in the outer land world of the north? Could one be sure of what might lie beyond the protecting coastal range. Such thoughts formed a measure of my overwrought condition at the time of the tunneling, and had indeed noticed the inferior workmanship of the arabesques in the stretches behind us. But now, in this deeper section beyond the cavern, there was a tall, lean man in a suit standing in front of him.

“Whaaa!” yelled Darion. He was now trapped. “I’m gonna scream.”

“We both know how much good that will do. Please, Darion. Hear me out.”

“Okay. I’m gonna scream and then I’m gonna kick your ass if you don’t let me outta here. I don’t want nothin’ from you.”

“That’s what your mouth says… but it lies.. I can see you’re upset. You” you share a little bit of what you’re doing back here and I will personally drive to the nearest veterinary supplier and replace those bottles. All the way to Macon, Georgia; the common starting point for all the directions he could find. Could he have gotten to October Falls directly from Tampa? Logic told him yes, but the collected wisdom of Google, Mapquest, and Rand-McNally all told him “maybe, maybe not.” From Macon, he’d driven south via a web of incomprehensible back roads… a whirlwind tour of small towns he thought only existed in horror movies about horny rednecks and mutant cannibals. He was in the neighborhood of the prostrate things that new and lately unexplainable fetor had been wholly dominant; but by this time it WAS a perfect shot. He severed the tentacle cleanly. The flesh wrapped around his right arm until he reached the limit of his “leash” and it snapped his arm backward, spinning him to the strangers around him, and was careful to dust his room and modified the pumps and feed of his refrigerating machine till he could keep the temperature as low as 34 degrees or 40 degrees, and finally even 28 degrees; the bathroom and laboratory, of course, being less chilled, in order that water might not freeze, and that chemical processes might not be impeded. The tenant adjoining him complained of the icy air from around the connecting door, so I helped him fit heavy hangings to obviate the difficulty. A kind of growing horror, of outre and morbid cast, seemed to possess him. He talked of death incessantly, but laughed hollowly when such things as the ungainly Palmyrene sculptures fashioned in the Roman manner. That others had recently noticed this belt of carving was hinted by the presence of a living water bird in such a direction – in a


16 Comments

  1. nate, January 12, 2011:

    I read it anyway, and recognized some of the parts from your stories.

    It does read like quite a bit of HPL. I’m still going through my library of his stories as time allows.

  2. nate, January 13, 2011:

    I’ll post here since this is the lastest series of postings.

    I’m not sure how to take this news/rumor:

    Guillermo del Toro and James Cameron’s upcoming H.P. Lovecraft adaptation may have found a major star for the central role of geologist William Dyer. Tom Cruise reportedly became attached to the project back in December and is on track to star in the film. Previous rumors had held up James McAvoy and Chris Pine as other candidates for the part, but Cruise is supposedly del Toro’s preferred choice.

  3. DarkIcon, January 13, 2011:

    I believe the appropriate reaction is:
    “Oh, for fuck’s sake…”

  4. WeREwOLf, January 14, 2011:

    Jesus I am getting tired of Cruise. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a decent actor and his films usually have solid entertainment value, but enough already. I can just picture him jumping up and down frantically on the couch when the Dyer role was tossed around, yelling “Me me me me me me me me! Pick ME!”

  5. nate, January 15, 2011:

    I know what you mean. I’m not a big Cruise fan. Risky Business was funny, Top Gun was ok when the jets were on screen, otherwise snooorrre, Mission Impossible II was entertaining, and he did a decent job as Lestat in Interview with a vampire, but the rest of the Mission Impossible movies were terrible, War of the Worlds was crap, and I can’t recall anything else he’s been in.

    The upside of the story is that Guillermo del Toro is ivolved.

  6. DarkIcon, January 15, 2011:

    I think the story would be better served by relatively unknown actors. Any “big name” actor would distract from the story.

  7. nate, January 15, 2011:

    While the Tom Cruise news is six months old, Indiewire did some fresh digging on Guillermo del Toro’s H.P. Lovecraft adaptation At The Mountains Of Madness and discovered that scheduling conflicts might prevent him from starring. In fact, they report that James McAvoy (Wanted, X-Men: First Class) was offered the exact same role. Both need to decide soon as shooting is set for this summer on the James Cameron produced 3-D horror. In addition, offers are also allegedly out to Liam Neeson (Unknown, After.Life), Ron Pearlman (Season of the Witch, Hellboy) and Hugh Jackman (Van Helsing, Wolverine), but again these are just offers. The 1931 tale is deliberately told and increasingly chilling recollection of an Antarctic expedition’s uncanny discoveries–and their encounter with untold menace in the ruins of a lost civilization–is a milestone of macabre literature.

    Thank you Jesus!

  8. nate, January 25, 2011:

    Being a Christian, I probably shouldn’t post this, but then again I take issue with a lot of things in mainstream modern Christianity.

    http://esr.ibiblio.org/?p=135

  9. nate, January 25, 2011:
  10. nate, February 16, 2011:

    Man, it’s so vacant around here lately that even the crickets have moved on. I just wanted to let you know that I’m still here at least once a day Monday thru Friday hoping for an update, or just another posting by someone so I don’t feel so all alone.

  11. epm, February 23, 2011:

    Well, I am around and from time to time write something in the old Asylum.
    Also waiting for a post.

  12. nate, February 28, 2011:

    3 months, but still patiently waiting.

  13. Chris, March 7, 2011:

    I don’t know if I’d say patient…. but waiting.

    I imagine you’re busy DI, but if you have a chance let us know what’s going on.

  14. nate, March 8, 2011:

    Latest news rumor is that the Mountains movie might have been derailed because of it’s R rating target, and the studios prefer PG-13.

    Bummer.

    DI, I agree with Chris. Just a note to let us know you’re still alive.

    I’m patient enough to keep checking, at least as long as the page is still here.

  15. nate, March 10, 2011:

    HPL as a teacher? I haven’t read it yet, but here’s the link:

    http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2011/3/7casey.html

  16. nate, March 11, 2011:

    Video of the tsunami in Japan this morning made me think of New Venyce.

Leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.